In my previous blog, I shared how God’s words are life to me and how His perspective helps give me peace during my “storms”. Now instead of just giving a vague summary of this, it is time to get into actual stories of what He does. This blog and future blogs will highlight stories that will build your faith and will encourage you to seek Him in new ways. Follow along as His perspective definitely has a way of changing us!
First, here is a word of wisdom God gave me to share to set the stage for this blog:
“Parenting is a hard task, as you know. But it doesn’t have to be a task done without My help. Kids need to know My love just as much as you do. So, what better way to show them My love than through you! I know what they need as I know them better than you do. After all, I created them! So, while your parenting skills may be good, look to Me and see if I have something different in mind that I want you to do. Sometimes a simple thing that doesn’t make sense is what the kid needs to help them grow. Now look to Me and ask, ‘Is there a simple thing I am missing to help parent better? If so, can you show me?’. That is all you need to do. Ask! Ask for help. Ask for wisdom. I will be there to show you, but you need to look for Me. You will find Me when you seek Me with all your heart. Go in peace.”
When God asked me to write a parenting blog, I honestly got a big pit in my stomach. For one, I do not feel qualified. My kids aren’t through the turbulent teen years yet. They are overall good kids and make me and my husband proud, but they are still learning and are far from perfect. And I am a very imperfect parent. Just ask them, they will tell you!
Parenting is so complex, though. What works for my son doesn’t work for my daughter and vice versa. So, what works for one of my kids probably won’t work for yours. Every kid is different, so what advice could I possibly give? I got nothing!
But this is where God comes in. He is the One with the all the answers, and thankfully He wants to co-parent with us!
So, what does it look like to co-parent with God? Here is an example:
Last year, my daughter started “talking” to a boy from another school through social media. She told me about him, and she was starting to really like him. They had a couple of mutual friends, so while he was a “stranger”, there were connections that verified his identity and those people didn’t see any “red flags” concerning him. I saw a lot of the messages between them, and to be honest, he seemed fine to me. But like I do with all boys my daughter has shown interest in, I talk to God about them. I ask specific questions and He gives answers back.
This was God’s response to me in this instance:
“Take a proactive approach here. I know you want to see her happy and learn, but trust Me, this isn’t the way. Peel her away and she will see it. This isn’t right for her. In regard to him, trust Me to move and reveal his motives. It isn’t all innocent as it seems. Some is being done in anger, and some is a result of foolishness. Trust Me to intervene before things go too far. Steer her in the direction of Me is all you have to do. Just trust Me to reveal it all to her. Disrupt what you can but ultimately leave it up to Me to do the disrupting. Go in peace.”
I was taken aback. I expected a “green light” based on my impression of him, but God made His point very clear. But then I started to doubt myself, thinking that maybe I “heard wrong”. However, I told my daughter the apprehensions I was having because of what I believed God said. I told her to be cautious and look to Him about it. She admitted this boy had just gotten dumped by a girl so that would explain the anger issues, but she did not see him as the type to have ulterior motives. I talked to my husband, and we told her he could not come over. In the meantime, I prayed for God to make things clear to her. A week later, my daughter came up to me disgusted as I was unloading the dishwasher and said, “Mom, you were right. He asked me for nudes. Ugh!”
Well, I can’t say I was right, but God certainly was! This boy was acting foolishly, just as He said. God knows everyone’s hearts, motivations, and futures, both good and bad. I am so thankful I followed His instructions on this and watched Him faithfully protect His daughter!
I can say God’s Truth has never failed me. I may misinterpret what He says at times, but that certainly isn’t His fault! As time goes on, I learn more and more, and I am amazed at what He teaches me about my children, myself, others, and even about Himself as our Heavenly Father!
There are times God clarifies I am the one needing correction and not my child. Sometimes He tells me to stay out of certain situations because He Himself wants to be the active parent at that moment. And other times, when I am too relaxed about something, God tells me to get involved because He sees something I don’t!
God wants to help you co-parent as well! Many parents believe it is enough to just teach their child the basics of God, maybe by sharing Bible stories, bedtime prayers, or by attending church. While that is all good stuff, it also involves something more. Something relational. It involves actual two-way communication with the One who created your child and knows everything about them! It involves asking the Holy Spirit to share individual words of wisdom with you by asking bold, specific, direct questions… and then not just “hearing” Him, but actually doing what He says, even if it doesn’t make sense. His wisdom and answers may come immediately, or with time, but either way, keep asking! The Bible clearly states that when we ask for wisdom, we WILL receive it:
“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.” (James 1:5-8 NIV)
His words of wisdom can come from all sorts of places. It may come through reading the Bible and having a verse jump off the page and into your situation. It may come through as “listening” for Him during your quiet time and receiving words in your head that are far too wise to come from you. It may come as instructions in a daytime vision or a dream in the night, or even through lyrics in a song. It may come from someone else the Lord is using to bring things to your attention. And it may even come as a straight admission from your own child. There are too many ways to list, but when you ask for wisdom, be on the lookout for it to come! His wisdom WILL find you!
We all need God’s insight and need to learn to co-parent with Him. He is your child’s Father after all, and He is with them 24-7! He sees things you do not, including His plans for their future!
Prayer is a big part of co-parenting with God. Even if your child is little, start praying NOW. Pray for their life. Their friends. Their teachers. Their influences. Their future spouse. Even your grandchildren. Start now. I remember constantly praying over my children as babies to “be wise beyond their years.” God has answered that prayer in so many situations so far. He will answer you too!
Do not forget to pray for yourself. Pray you will yield to His parenting when He asks to step in. Ask him for the trust and faith you will need when He does something you don’t understand. Ask Him to help you hear His voice if this is something new to you.
Even if you haven’t walked with God personally or at all in your parenting, it is never too late to start. No challenge is too big for God and He will meet you right where you are at. He is a good God, despite what the enemy has done to get you to believe differently. Just pray. Just ask God into your life. Believe He is good and wants the best for you and your child.
If your child is struggling, God wants to share His heart with you. He will give you the wisdom, comfort, instructions, strength, stamina, and whatever resources you need to get through each day. The Holy Spirit is called “Counselor” for a reason.
God counsels me when my children go through hard times. He shows me what to do and causes situations to expose the enemy’s ugly presence. His words of wisdom have helped me to take a stand against the devil’s schemes. The enemy WANTS our children… think about that for a moment. God’s words of wisdom are part of the armor of God (see Ephesians 6:10-18) and He will use those truthful words to protect your family and help you stand boldly against the lies and tricks of the enemy!
So, while I do not have any specific answers regarding parenting, thankfully I know Who does. Our children are His children, too. I promise, any time spent with God is time well spent! You will enjoy drawing closer to God as a result. He will show you His perspective and offer His hope for your child’s future!
So, are you co-parenting with Him? If not, now is the time to start.
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